Twin Funnies :)

Each morning, I try and take the twins to school, if they wish. Our lives are so busy that the ten minutes it takes, gives me time to connect. Seems silly, but very effective. Time in the car forces us to pay attention to each other. Well, this week, two days worth of conversations were hilarious had to share.


Hannah: “Mom I figured out why Raven’s ( a boy in their class) butt crack always hangs out.”

Mom: “Why?”

Hannah: “ Because her mom came to school Lunch this week and Ravens mom’s butt crack hangs out too!”.

LOL



We have a kill deer nest in our driveway, YES our DRIVEWAY! The kill deer has laid four eggs and it has been the topic of conversation many days. The kill deer is very protective of her nest. She is an overprotective mother!!! EJ was in the car on the way to school, he says “mom when will the eggs hatch?”

Mom: “ Honey, they will not hatch if they are not fertilized, so she could be sitting on eggs that are not fertilized.”

EJ: “how do we know?”

Mom: “we don’t, the bird had to have sex in order to get a fertilized egg”. (Oh No I think I am in trouble at this point)

EJ: “I don’t understand” (oh shit, should I take the long way to school?)

Mom: “The mom has an egg in her tummy and when they have sex the sperm fertilizes the egg. When she lays the eggs it is fertilized and turns to a baby kill deer . Same with mommy, mommy has an egg one time a month and unless we have sex the egg dissolves and we do not have a baby. (Phew, I feel pretty good at this point) Think about a chicken, if the egg is fertilized what do we get?”

Hannah: “AN EGG!” (What, of course it is an egg, is she paying attention?)

EJ: “no, a chick Hannah!!!”

Mom: “ what do we get when the chicken egg is not fertilized?”

Hannah: “AN EGG!” (What the hell is she thinking???)

EJ: “ an unfertilized egg is the kind we eat”

Hannah: “Oh yeah!!”

Mom: “so the eggs might not be fertilized we do not know for sure”.

EJ: “how does the sperm get in the hard shell?” (Good thinking EJ, I am not sure???)

Mom: “The egg is softer in the mom’s belly, and the sperm gets in” (Not sure if this is right, but want to eliminate this discussion at this point, I need to get to work).

EJ: “well mom, where to the eggs come out of?”

Mom: “ the mom’s bottom” (Is that enough info, I hope?)

EJ: “with the poop?”

Hannah: “No EJ, out of the mom‘s BAGINA’”. (She has been paying attention!!!)



Thank god we got to school at this point!!!!