Things are going well for us. Life seems to be slowing down and we are getting so excited for our upcoming cruise! Lots of my time is preparing for that, I am amazed how many things I have to think about. It is so fun, as I have always said, anticipating something is as much fun as doing it. I have really enjoyed reading the reviews on all the places we are going and the things that we should and should not be doing.
Eluding to the title, Thane, Katie, and Jerra have been gone this whole weekend. They are in Mesquite playing soccer, at the President's cup tournament. We prepared for this for a while, and I knew that I would be staying home with the twins. I have to work Friday and Monday in order to have the end of the week off. I actually was looking forward to having time to get things done. Mom was taking the twins for a good part of Saturday thus allowing me time to myself. I though that I would like the time, and I did get things done, but when it came right down to it, I was lonely. I found myself wanting to call Thane every hour, (which I didn't). I wanted to be at the soccer games, even though they didn't do so well. I didn't sleep well, every noise made me jump. I actually MISSED the noise, and happiness. Hard to find a happy medium??? The grass isn't always greener.
SO I have made an official decision that will stay married. I do not want to be without the ones I love. I can't imagine being divorced and having any more time on my hands than I did this weekend. I miss Thane at night, I miss his hairy leg, I miss getting up and watching Whammy with everyone on Saturday mornings, I miss running to the store with Katie for a diet coke. I went last night, by myself, to play MY soccer game, and it was not the same with out the kids running around in the gym, and my husband cheering me on, and complaining with me after our loss. Dad and Vanessa were there, and I felt supported but it was not the same. Maybe this weekend was suppose to be especially before our cruise. I have made a commitment within myself to keep working hard to keep the things I have. I will remember the next time I am irritated with my four overwhelming kids, how i felt this weekend.
My only fear now is what will I do when they are gone??? Will I one day enjoy the peace and quiet or will I miss the chaos? Hopefully Thane and I will make our own chaos, Ha Ha! Katie, Jerra, EJ, and Hannah I love all of you and I can't wait until tomorrow when you are all home. To THANE, You are the love of my life, and more important my very best friend. I am lost without you. I promise to stay more patient and calm, remembering that the alternative is not what I want!
1 comment:
Jody...although I do not know your feelings, I think I know you just about as well as anyone...except Thane. Trust me when I say that you do NOT ever want a divorce. You and Thane are GOOD together! Of course you have your problems; BUT YOU ARE A TEAM and a team doesn't win without each of its players and lots of PRACTICE. Put on your big girl panties and TOUGH IT OUT! You'll be very glad you did.
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