Groundhog Day???

      Thanksgiving is here!  I sit her at six in the morning all alone at my computer, turkey in.  Sometimes it seems like such a hassle.  Not just the turkey, but life.  My life is in "turbo speed", and in circular motion.  Round and around.  Thane often times says that it reminds him of Groundhog day, get up, and do the same things, repeat.  Not complaining in the least, but often find myself being bitchy.  Last night, after working 10 hours and knowing I had to come home and make stuffing at 9pm I was bitchy.  I was down to my last 10 patients and walked in to find the mother of Corbin, the little boy who drowned in the river last summer.  His father works with me, is a close friend, and I have seen her (Corbin's mother) before.
    I talked superficially with her for a minute and then just flat out asked her how she was doing knowing good and well what I MIGHT be in for.  I am always scared to ask Bryan, because I do not want to bring up misery, but also do not want Bryan to think that I have forgotten little Corbin. Melanie and I talked for twenty minutes.  Melanie told me about what really happened the day Corbin drown and not what the papers had reported (although fairly similar).  Melanie told me the ongoing guilt and failure of being right at the fingertips of his little boy and not able to catch him in the swift moving river when Bryan jumped in to get Corbin.  Melanie told me that Bryan still feels like a failure of a man and a father to this day.  Melanie told me that still she wonders what it feels like to drown?  Did it take long, did he hold his breath for long?   Why she feels like she can not go on, still?  Melanie told me that she is not able to go to the cemetery, although Bryan is there almost every day.  I sat and cried with Melanie and after she got up to leave she told me that I had helped her in a small way.  I told her that she had made my Thanksgiving!  I told her that she was an amazing woman and parent and thanked her for her time.  I know now that there was a reason for her visit.  Funny thing, I had been so busy that Melanie had waited to see me for about an hour and fifteen minutes!  God surprises me in how he lets me know that he is there.  I pray and pray that my challenges are not as challenging as Melanie's and Bryan's as I know I could not survive.
    I promise today, at the very least, that I am going to try and slow down and take in all I have. That the swift moving water is not going to drown me, and that little Corbin is in heaven smiling! He made my Thanksgiving in 2013.