I have been working on this post for the past few days, time gets away from me. When I think of 2010, I think of the song by Lady Antebellum, Hello world. The song talks about just "making it" through life, but how you need to stop and realize what you have, to be able to enjoy it.
I have to say that 2010 has not been my best year. I don't usually like to gripe on my blog, but I want my kids to read this when they are older and know that life wasn't always sweet. More like a box of chocolates. You never know which one you are going to pick (thanks to Forrest Gump). I like chocolate, and anything covered with it, but there are some that are my favorites and some that I just tolerate. I just tolerated 2010. It was probably like one of those chocolates that everyone leaves in the candy box, and you grab it just cause it is the last one left and you want the chocolate! I know that there are going to be sometimes in my life that I just tolerate. 2010 was one of them. TIME was probably one of my worst enemies this year. I never had enough of it, it always left me. I didn't have time for myself, I didn't have enough time for Thane, I didn't have enough time to cook, do laundry, or take naps. I did have enough time for one thing, SOCCER. Even though it is what I enjoy, I can't seem to find the balance.
There were many times that I was miserable this year. More than most. I cried to Thane and to Mom, and too myself. Don't let me mislead you, I am still very happy, although it was a really hard year. Thane and I seemed to fight more this year than we have since the kids were born. You ask what we fight about? KIDS. Not fighting about how much we love each other, not money, not who should clean the house. KIDS! I often ask myself when the kids are all grown, will I have anything to do, the answer: NO! I know that my kids are over involved, but unfortunately I did not recognize this until it was too late. It takes a toll on no one but Thane and I thus making us take it out on each other.
Money this year has been a little more tight. I really don't know why, other than we refinanced our house for 15 years and it made our house payment go up a little. I think most of it is because of the economy, it is affecting our living. It may also be that the kids are much more expensive. $200 per month for lunch money, at least $150 dollars per month for some sport and $600 per month in food! That doesn't count out of town soccer trips, shoes!, or birthdays and Christmas. Being financially drained really can take it's toll.
Although I LOVE my job and the people I work with, it becomes emotionally draining. Being nice to 20 plus sick people a day and then coming home and being nice to your husband and kids is hard sometimes. It is unfortunate that the people that you love the most are the ones that you hurt. I think that things will get in TIME but sometimes the finish line seems so far away.
Teenagers were alot harder this year. Katie is a really good kid for the most part, but the bad parts are BAD. She is learning to be independent, and not quite sure that she wants to "agree" with her dad and I. She is changing so much. The hardest thing about this is that I am not sure what to do most of the time. I have learned that she outsmarts me when we are in a argument, and it is very difficult in the heat of the moment to know how to discipline her and then FOLLOW THROUGH with what I decide. We continue to work on it.
I am hopeful that 2011 will be better. I am really looking forward to a great, vacation in February. I think TIME together without soccer, money, jobs, cell phones, and and laundry will give us the time we need to remember what is most important, each other. Hello World, Hello 2011...
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